Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
