Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My hand turned me down
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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