One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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