it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
