I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
