My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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