I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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