guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
