me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
