i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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