The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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