Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
