pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Randomize
