with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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