We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
