Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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