you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
