GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
