its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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