shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
