Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
