I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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