Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
This is my gift to your gina
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
