He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
A bitchslap is in order.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
