I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
