I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
