My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
