The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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