Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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