jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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