I bet he comes in French.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
