dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You've changed since you got that strap on
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
