BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
