You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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