He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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