I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
