There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
