I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
