Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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