Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
