Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
