you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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