I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
