So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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