just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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