i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You took a bar mat shot.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
