Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
there was a trapeze. enough said
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
