I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
