Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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