For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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