I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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