Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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