Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
