so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize