I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
