Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
