In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
