Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
