Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize