Banned from zoo.
Again?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So vagazzling was a success
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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