Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
