she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
