Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
