put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The power of my boobs compel you
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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