when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
