your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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