I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
