Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
