Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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