When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
