i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The air taste purple.
Randomize
