I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize