And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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