Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
