this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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