if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
