We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Randomize
